Insomnia
by The Warrior of the Light
Summary: 3 months after the defeat of the Archdemon, Queen Elissa is now trying to come to terms with everything that happened during the Blight. She decides to head to the sparring grounds in the palace to face her inner demons. 1 shot, F!Cousland/Alistair (King). My first fanfiction, soon to be more, set in the same universe!


Elissa couldn't sleep.

Or rather, she did not wish to. She knew exactly what awaited her within the Fade. What were once dreams of a corrupted Old God were now being replaced with the faces of the dead.

She gently moved Alistairs' arm from her, and tried to slip out of bed as quietly as possible. She went to their closet and grabbed her old leather training gear, and proceeded to put it on. As she finished she walked back to her bed, and reached down under to grab her sword Starfang from underneath. As she reached the door, she glanced one last time at her fiance. A small, sad smile formed on her face, and then she opened the door and walked out.

The night guards were accustomed to this behavior now. The sentry posted close to the door nodded to Elissa as she passed, and she returned it. She walked down the flight of stairs and made her usual path to the sparring area.

As she reached for her greatsword and walked into the center of the arena, voices assaulted her mind. Elissa assumed an overhead stance and began swinging into the air as she recounted the lost souls that the voices belonged to.

'Where is the Teryn? TELL US?!'

'I don't know if you killed King Cailan, and Maker forgive me, I don't care. That bounty will field a lot of hungry bellies. Attack!'

'Help! There are bandits at the door!' 'They will not get past me!'

'I love you my daughter. You know that, right?'

Her technique started to betray her emotions. What were once simple swings and stabs into the air were now powered by her feelings.

'You were not there! You didn't see what they did to my son! To my daughter!'

'NOOOOO! The anvil is mine! No one will take it from me!'

'First day they come, and take every one'

'Then live darling! Become a Grey Warden and do what is right!'

'Well well, Bryce Couslands little spitfire, all grown up, and still playing the man.'

She stopped for a moment and closed her eyes, her body trembling with anger and grief as she regained her stamina. As she re opened them, they started to glow that unnatural blue light again. She was not finished. Her spirit warrior training would see to that. And once again the tempo of battle picked back up, this time accompanied with her voice yelling into the night.

'100 sovereigns from you, for a letter with the seal of Loghain upon it. We depart with our remaining slaves...'

'Traitors! Which of you stood against the Orlesian Emperor, when his troops flattened your fields and raped your wives!'

'NOOO! My little Oren! What manner of fiend slaughters innocents!?'

'No more must you grieve my child. Take the pain, acknowledge it, and let go. It is time.'

Tears started to stream down her face.

'MAKER SPIT ON YOU! I DESERVED...MORE!'

She swung Starfang overhead, and screamed for a good few moments before plummeting the greatsword down with all of her might. The sword cracked into the metal training dummy, splitting it in half to the torso. She was shaking and panting now.

"Elissa."

She spun around to see Alistair, clad in his robes, with a look of clear concern and anguish on his face. She slowly approached him, absently dropping her weapon to the ground as he pulled her into his embrace, carressing her cheek and wiping away her tears.

She then buried her face into his chest, murmuring softly "I see them Alistair. I see the faces of the dead."

He gently stroked her head, not knowing what to say yet. She then looked up, her eyes peering into his, and then she continued:

"Every time I close my eyes at night, I see the people that have died before me. I see the ones that I have killed, the ones that I had doomed, and the ones that I failed to protect. I feel the weight of the dead, and the guilt that it brings."

Alistair finally spoke, the soft, hardened whisper revealing his answer "You are my everything Elissa. You have no reason to regret your actions. I don't know if I can help you with what you've been through, but I promise that I will stand with you, in this life and the next." He stopped to put his lips to hers, a passionate and tender embrace. As they parted, he whispered "I love you." She smiled at that, and replied "I love you too.".

They walked back to their room in the palace, and quietly went back to bed. She placed her head on his chest, and finally willed herself to sleep, this time knowing that even if her next trip into the fade brought her more pain and terror, that she would awaken at his side. He would always be there for her.


End file.
